ESCANABA — As torrential rain transformed portions of Ludington Street into what witnesses described as “the newest inland Great Lake,” Escanaba Mayor Mark Ammel held an emergency press conference Sunday evening to address the city’s rapidly evolving transportation crisis.
Standing before a hastily assembled podium with several inches of standing water at his feet, the mayor announced an emergency proclamation requiring all motorists traveling on flooded city streets to possess a valid Michigan watercraft registration sticker—commonly known as an MC number.
“At this point,” Ammel declared with a stern expression, “if your vehicle is displacing enough water to create a wake, Escanaba Public Safety may reasonably conclude you are operating a vessel. We encourage everyone to remain compliant with all applicable boating regulations.”
The mayor warned that officers had reportedly begun carrying both traffic citation books and copies of Michigan’s boating safety handbook “just to be prepared.”
Residents expressed confusion over whether windshield wipers qualify as bilge pumps and whether turn signals should now be replaced by navigation lights.
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Whitmer’s Office Asked About “Fix the Damn Roads”
The flooding quickly reignited debate over Michigan’s aging infrastructure.
Reporters contacted Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s office seeking comment on the dilapidated state of the roads after another round of flooding, despite eight years of promises to “Fix the Damn Roads.”
While the Governor’s office declined to comment directly on Escanaba’s floating intersections, one staff member reportedly asked whether the submerged pavement still technically counted as a road if nobody could actually see it.
Local residents remained divided.
“I can’t honestly tell where the potholes end and Lake Michigan begins anymore,” said one motorist while attempting to determine whether his sedan had just struck a crater or a smallmouth bass.
Another resident said his GPS repeatedly announced, “Continue straight,” before quietly adding, “Good luck.”
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Secretary of State: Appointment Required… Even If Nobody’s There
Meanwhile, Secretary of State and gubernatorial candidate Jocelyn Benson released her own statement reminding residents that anyone wishing to obtain one of the newly essential MC registrations should head to the Escanaba Secretary of State office on Ludington Street.
“But don’t you dare show up without an appointment,” Benson emphasized.
She reminded residents that walk-ins are still not welcome—a policy that has remained firmly in place since COVID.
Anyone arriving without an appointment will first be directed to use the taxpayer-funded kiosk just inside the entrance to schedule a future appointment, even if the waiting room is completely empty.
If the kiosk determines no appointments are immediately available, visitors will be politely escorted back onto the sidewalk to contemplate their life choices.
“We appreciate your patience,” Benson reportedly said. “Government efficiency takes time.”
She concluded by reminding voters that she is running for governor.
“If you’d like the entire State of Michigan operated with the same streamlined customer experience you’ve come to expect from the Secretary of State, I respectfully ask for your support in the upcoming election.”
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Boat Launch Parking Rules Expanded
As floodwaters continued creeping toward neighborhoods Sunday evening, city officials also reminded residents that the emergency order extends beyond vehicles actually traveling on city streets.
Escanaba Recreation Director Kim Peterson announced that any vehicle parked in a driveway adjacent to a city street must now display a valid City of Escanaba boat launch parking permit, either affixed to the windshield or clearly visible on the dashboard.
“If your front tires are within reasonable paddling distance of a public roadway, you’re close enough to the water to require a permit,” Peterson explained.
Residents may purchase $4 daily boat launch passes or $45 seasonal permits at Escanaba City Hall or the Harbor Master’s Office.
Peterson stressed that enforcement officers would be checking parked vehicles throughout the evening and warned that failure to display a launch permit could result in the owner being cited for “unlawful mooring.”
Officials also encouraged homeowners to install dock bumpers on their garages and advised children not to tie inflatable tubes to the family SUV overnight.
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City Advises Drivers to Check Marine Forecast
As of late Sunday, city officials were reportedly considering replacing several downtown stop signs with channel markers and installing courtesy docks at the intersections of Ludington Street and Lincoln Road.
Local auto parts stores reported selling out of life jackets, anchor ropes, bilge pumps, and trolling motors, while bait shops experienced an unexpected surge in customers asking which lure worked best around the Hardee’s parking lot.
Escanaba Public Safety has not confirmed whether paddle-powered vehicles will require headlights after sunset, but officials encouraged motorists to keep both hands on the wheel—and perhaps a paddle within reach.
Residents are also reminded that passing slower traffic on the port side is strongly discouraged during the evening commute.
