SAULT STE. MARIE — Michigan’s archery deer season doesn’t begin until October 1, exactly 50 days from Wednesday, but apparently somebody near Lake Superior State University decided the calendar was more of a suggestion. A whitetail deer was found injured alongside the highway near the college this week, still alive with its head upright and looking around after apparently losing an argument with a passing vehicle.
A concerned resident took to Facebook looking for help, asking whether the DNR or a veterinarian could be called for the injured animal. The Sault’s online wildlife response team quickly assembled, with residents repeatedly recommending Central Dispatch. “Call police. They’re never closed,” one commenter advised, while another provided the number for Central Dispatch. Others expressed hope for the deer, including “Thank you for caring” and “Awe. Maybe it can be saved.”
Then came the considerably more Yooper assessment of the situation: “Central dispatch. Sheriff will put it down.” Another commenter suggested Sault Animal Hospital, while someone else began typing “Take it home for a pe…” before the comment provided to The Daily Pasty mercifully ended, leaving us to assume they meant pet and absolutely nothing involving potatoes, carrots and an oven.
The identity of the driver remains unknown, as does whether the motorist was surprised by a deer in the road or simply couldn’t stand the thought of waiting another 50 days. Somewhere around the Sault, however, there is presumably a vehicle with a newly customized front end and an owner explaining to somebody that the dent “wasn’t there yesterday.”
The incident highlights the remarkable difference between hunting and driving in the Upper Peninsula. Hunters will soon spend considerable amounts of money scouting, checking trail cameras, buying licenses, hanging stands and purchasing increasingly elaborate equipment for the opportunity to harvest a whitetail. The average Yooper motorist continues to demonstrate that similar results can apparently be achieved with a questionable rate of speed, a front bumper and exceptionally poor timing.
Word of the unconventional Sault hunting technique has reportedly traveled west, where Iron Mountain City Manager Jordan Stanchina continues dealing with his city’s own abundant deer population. Stanchina, already working to thin the herd through Iron Mountain’s managed archery hunt, was reportedly taking notes after learning that Sault Ste. Marie may have stumbled upon a considerably less complicated approach.
Sources say Stanchina briefly added “Buick LeSabre” to a list of possible deer-management tools alongside bows, arrows and hunting permits before somebody at City Hall reminded him that the goal is a managed hunt. He reluctantly crossed it out, although officials reportedly haven’t ruled out simply rerouting US-2 through somebody’s backyard.
No official update on the Sault deer’s condition was immediately available. For everyone else counting down, Michigan’s statewide archery season opens October 1, while regular firearm season begins November 15.
The unidentified Sault motorist apparently couldn’t wait for either.
