Here’s what’s been happening around da Upper Peninsula this week:
City Once Again Declares Open Season On Lawn Ornaments
IRON MOUNTAIN – Iron Mountain is bringing back its city archery hunt after hunters removed a record 112 deer last year.
Officials say the herd remains troublesome. Local deer maintain they were here first and would like residents to stop planting hostas if they don’t intend to share.
Residents are reminded that seeing a man in camouflage slowly disappearing behind the neighbor’s garage may now be perfectly legitimate municipal wildlife management.
Use your best judgment.
County Fair Promises Cows, Acrobats & Mini Golf
MARQUETTE – The Marquette County Fair returns next week with cattle, miniature golf, interactive games and an acrobat show.
Organizers say there’s something for everybody — whether you came to admire livestock, watch somebody perform a dangerous maneuver 30 feet in the air, or spend $46 feeding a family of four something that arrived frozen in a Sysco truck.
Weather permitting, attendees should enjoy several pleasant August days before winter resumes sometime around Tuesday.
Fire Department Gets Something Built This Century
ISHPEMING – After roughly a year of waiting, Ishpeming’s fire department finally received its new pumper truck.
Residents reportedly gathered to admire the new apparatus before one lifelong Ishpeming man cautiously kicked a tire and announced:
“Well, we’ll see.”
The truck is expected to remain the newest thing in Ishpeming until somebody at Congress Pizza replaces a refrigerator.
Ludington Park Finds Room For One More Thing
ESCANABA – Escanaba has accepted the donation of a life-sized bronze statue honoring veterans, particularly veterans with disabilities, for Ludington Park.
It will join the park’s existing Veterans’ Memorial as another meaningful tribute to those who served.
City officials confirmed approximately eleven feet of unused space still remains in Ludington Park, although several committees are reportedly working around the clock on the problem.
Police & Firefighters Meet Residents Without Anybody Actually Needing Them
GWINN – Gwinn held its National Night Out celebration Saturday, bringing residents together with police officers, firefighters and emergency personnel.
For several hours, residents were able to speak with first responders without beginning the conversation with either:
“I can explain.”
—or—
“How bad is it?”
Officials called the event a success.
Hundreds Buzz Da Gut; Name Requires No Satire
ISHPEMING – Classic cars rolled through Ishpeming Saturday for the annual Buzz the Gut celebration.
Spectators lined the route to watch vintage vehicles cruise through town, continuing the proud U.P. tradition of driving somewhere for no particular reason and then driving back.
The Daily Pasty editorial department attempted several times to develop a more ridiculous name than “Buzz the Gut.”
We concede defeat.
Bicyclists Temporarily Take Control of County
MARQUETTE – Saturday’s Ore to Shore mountain bike race brought road closures and traffic delays around the Marquette area.
Drivers were warned in advance, giving everyone plenty of time to develop alternate routes and then completely ignore them.
Several motorists also reported the unsettling experience of being passed by somebody traveling under their own physical power.
Normal automobile supremacy has since resumed.
Lake Superior Allows Music Festival to Proceed
GRAND MARAIS – The Grand Marais Music Festival returned with music, art, vendors and visitors gathering along the Lake Superior shoreline.
After storms disrupted last year’s event, Mother Nature was considerably more cooperative this time.
Organizers thanked the performers, vendors and volunteers.
Lake Superior issued no statement but stared menacingly at everyone from approximately 50 yards away.
Summer Officially Declared Over on August 7
REPUBLIC – Republic hosted its Summer’s End Smokeout with music, food and camping.
While residents of most states might question declaring summer over during the first week of August, Yoopers generally recognize this as sound meteorological planning.
Attendees were encouraged to enjoy the warm weather while it lasts.
Snowblower carburetors should be checked Monday.
Italian Fest Brings Food, Music & Culture Downtown
IRON MOUNTAIN – Iron Mountain celebrated Italian Fest Saturday with food, live music, games and activities celebrating Italian culture.
For one glorious afternoon, Dickinson County residents were reminded that noodles can be prepared with something besides cream-of-mushroom soup.
Authorities expect normal casserole operations to resume Monday morning.
